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Trailer Towing and Parking Lot Punch-Outs

Last Sunday, I took my new Airstream trailer on her maiden voyage—a simple test run—and ended up getting more than I bargained for. Before I get into the story of my weekend from hell, let me brag about my new unit. This thing is a true beauty, Airstream really had their stuff together when they designed it. She’s a thirty-three footer decked-out to the gills with all the niceties from home.

You see, this trailer’s American made, so my chest swells with pride when I grab that stainless steel handle and step inside. She’s decked out with double insulation, diamond tuck & roll, toilet, shower, refrigerator—we’re completely self-contained! In fact, I’m tempted to just sell the condo, park this baby at the Indian Lake KOA and start my early retirement.

But I digress, let’s get back to my bloody Sunday. I’ve got my new trailer hitch and towing mirrors installed and ready to roll. The Airstream is hitched-up to my brand new F-250, the lights and brakes are working and everything else’s in order. With only a small amount of consternation I back out of my driveway and hit the local highway. I gotta tell you—the Airstream tows like a dream and the F-250 has no problem yanking that baby around town. I even beat some numbskull at red light who tried to drag race me in his old Coronet.

Once on the open road everything was going smoothly until I heard some yahoo honking at me. I’m not sure what I did to upset him, but he was obviously hopping mad. In my mirrors I could see this wacko darting back and forth, pumping his fists, flipping me the bird and pounding on his steering wheel. Admittedly I was a bit put off, so I thumbed my nose at him, then I thumbed my teeth—just to drive the message home. Judging by his red face and the steam coming from his ears, this only served to really upset him.

I was in my happy place at the time, out pulling my new rig around, so I decided to pay this guy no mind. I continued driving, just ignoring the idiot. I remembered that I needed to do some banking so I took the next exit. I needed some cash to take my lady out later, and the bank parking lot would provide a great proving ground to test my technical towing abilities.

I get the rig parked with no problems and start walking toward the bank. Just then, this crazy freak starts rushing me. Just when I identified him as the screaming jerk I’d encountered on the road, he sucker-punched me right in the jaw. I fell hard, nearly blacking out. Then I heard him shout, “Take that to the bank!”

Next thing I know, he’s gone and I have an achy jaw. I’m sure he ran off to tell all his friends just how bad he is—before I could get back up and beat him silly.

All in all, it wasn’t so bad—sometimes it takes a good, sharp blow to the face to clear the cobwebs. I’m supremely happy with my new Airstream and all the towing accessories I loaded my F-250 with. Only, now I know to be a little more careful when I’m out there towing my rig among the restless native population.

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If you need to find a trailer hitch or towing mirrors, the internet can’t be beat. These items are easy to install for the do-it-yourselfer and can be had at a terrific bargain. Just make sure you buy the hitch that’s rated for your trailer’s weight and don’t skimp on cheap mirrors. After all, you wanna see who’s coming up behind you. - David S. Brooks

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